Decline

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<sub>I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand, Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you

VNV Nation -Illusion</sub>
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I really don't know what to say about this pic... It purely represents my feelings at times, in fact, most of the time lately...
It's 17th of October, 365 days since I went through one hell in my life, and just when I think that everything's fine again I notice that I'm standing in the same shit I was back then. Mentally, that is. There's still deep wounds in my soul and I guess I'll be never again able to fully trust to my skills or myself at all...

It feels like something deep inside of me changed back then, and even though I don't know what it is, I still know that something did change... Either it's my attitude towards life or maybe it's some little part of my mind that shattered, eventually healing slowly or staying shattered for the rest of my life...
... Maybe I'll never be sure.

Listen that song from VNV Nation. It's a beautiful song, and somehow I feel like it partly represents something I've felt lately...
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PS CS 3
Waittiz & art (c) me

91. Drowning for the 100 theme challenge